A Letter to God

Dear God,

I have been wanting to send you this letter a very long time ago, but I did not want to trouble you in your busy days trying to make life a lot better for all of us mortals out here.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have given us since you created us! I have read the story about Adam and Eve and how they could not but sin by eating from the forbidden tree which you must have had a very good reason to plant somewhere next to them! It's us, silly mortals who know not thy wisdom!

Thank you for giving us the need for sex, in every single lusty form of it, and thank you for helping us to test our strength in fighting the need for it!

Thank you for heaven and hell, for should we not have had the promise of heaven and the fear of hell, we would have failed to be your joyful slaves, oh mighty God!

Thank you for sending all those prophets who guided us to the path of righteousness! For without them, we would have forgotten about you and enjoyed each and every second of our short lives!

Thank you for promising us the world if we obey you, for if you haven't we might have sinned by enjoying the world!

Thank you for being so mighty! So mighty that you are closing our eyes so we can follow you, and you know better than us on where we should go!

How can I ever express how thankful I am! I am willing to give everything for you! Take me! Lead my way! I am blind, just like you want me to be! I am mindless, so think for me! I am powerless so hold me! I am afraid, please don't leave me! I am living for no cause, so let thy wisdom be my guide!

Thank you Lord for everything you have given me, but more for what you have taken away from me!

Yours truly,

Stupid Mortal

PS. Write me back sometime! I loved the Bible letter you sent!